A Quickie, but a Goodie

It took me literally four readings to figure out what Gammons means here:

The Angels also have a cornucopia of prospects, if they are not in the A-Rod sweepstakes.

The word "if" is typically a conjunction that indicates a dependent relationship between two clauses. For example, "If ESPN starts editing Peter Gammons's writing, I will have nothing to write about in this blog." The clause, "I will have nothing to write about in this blog" is dependent on the clause, "ESPN starts editing Peter Gammons's writing".

Applying that logic to this sentence is a futile exercise, because Gammons decided it's time to throw logic out the window. Somebody who isn't familiar with baseball or free agency or the like might assume that the Angels only have a "cornucopia of prospects" if they're not participating in the A-Rod sweepstakes. Not so! Somebody who might not realize that A-Rod is a free agent might think that the Angels would have to trade their "cornucopia of prospects" for A-Rod. Wrong again! It turns out that what Gammons meant to say is the following: if the Angels aren't in the A-Rod sweepstakes, they can use their cornucopia of prospects to trade for Miguel Cabrera (the main subject of this blog post)! Crystal clear, right?

Brief pro-Gammons aside: The comparison at the end of the column between Cabrera and A-Rod at the same age was pretty startling and informative. Gammons, just learn how to write and I will love you almost as much as you love the Red Sox!